ABOUT FRIEND-ING on FB
January 2011
This is long & I apologize to the majority, but to the select few, naaaa, I don't apologize HAHAHA
Seriously, a friend of mine in Detroit, who is a psychiatrist were having this discussion on her FB thread- "...to delete or not to delete..." {no poking the need for a psychiatrist on my friends list either... YES, Ima talking to YOU} haaa ;)
This is, in part, was my retort: oO(of course I have eliminated certain references to protect the innocent as well as elaborated to the original comment I left...)
I will acquire ppl along the way, from old school chums to new peeps I meet along my Facebook journey... In the defense of those who have deleted you, being one who has, on occasion, went on tangents of deleting mass amounts of ppl......let me say this: Its never been personal to their person 99%of the time...I have taken to 'catching up' writing messages back & forth for some time without friend-ing old school friends as time has went on...the majority of ppl are simply acquaintances, not my friends...I have a hard time separating the two & it has caused me a lot of grief/angst- call me stupid or think I wear my heart on my sleeve matters not...
(**as well, nobody likes to be ignored & made to look like a fool, even silently...those who DO that are mean people...Ima not talking about ppl who interact & care for you, I am speaking of those who intentionally are 'conspiring the combined action of not engaging with you'...I mean, COME ON, please, these ppl were the same in high school as they are in their adult lives & NOBODY needs those ppl in their lives- the word dingleberry explains them to a 'T'- these same ppl do not have the '[...nerve...]' to cut their list as they take fun poking behind-the-scene jabs at others... I do find these types of ppl to be those who do not have any form of accountability & respect for others & nothing personal, those who call themselves 'Christians' are no better than those who 'preach' atheism...whoever & whatever they want to call themselves, it's a common CHARACTER TRAIT- they simply lack social moral respect for anyone outside their 'realm'...my mom would call these ppl jerks, douchebags or we can downplay the humor in the term biotches LOL)
*gets a cup of java while smiling while knowing that is SOOO true in FB land) Fake-arse ppl...makes my Christian frailty wanna say KISS MY BUTTOCKS! :P
ANYHOO:
I do not have multiple FB pages like many do- I have this ONE...it is like a diary to me & my husband will be the 1st to tell you, & maybe you who know me can be the 2nd that there are "no sacred cows" on my FB...just a good reason to keep my friends list to a minimum, I do not really need to share all my BS w/ EVERYONE & to be sure, it's a lot to put someone on hide (meaning they put ME on hide lol)...specially when they (meaning ME lol) post pretty random things at times...but I know I have been off the wall & totally on freak out mode & am REALLY surprised that I've not been deleted by more people than I have (I think I am at 3 presently haha) & can name who it has been & why...never once due to my rants, which is good HAHA
I delete the majority of who I delete to SAVE THEM... or, for example, a friends family makes a 'joke' over my trauma drama to my friend, at family events...she doesn't appreciate them having a laugh at my trials & tribulations so it was best for me to 'remove' those particular ppl- it was causing her angst & encouraging those others to ridicule her in an off-side kind of way- not cool...and mean- not to mention totally disrespectful to her choice in her friendship to me. Her hubby of course- he can jab away LOL... Mind you, these are ppl I care for & love, BUT my friendship with this particular person is of UTMOST importance, her relationship with the others & the health of those relationships was being affected, however indirectly, so I removed myself, which was best for her...it was not & NEVER should be about ones' self...that is selfish & self-serving & we all have issues with that. But, when I did remove those people, it was 11ppl in one swipe LOL
School friends I have truly enjoyed along the way I have just had to accept that we have NOTHING in common...and they have no sense or they have...no sense LOL (But BETTER (or worse really), they are exactly how they were in high school on FB which means that is how they ARE...not how I may perceive or imagine them to be...but that is no surprise whatsoever most of the time, but, sad just the same...)
I have created a couple groups of which I no longer need to separate my postings to exclude ppl who wouldn't don't give two rats bums about some things except manipulating scenerio's in selfish ways- I can be the same but I really would never encourage someone to do something that would take away from THEIR OWN SELF/FAMILY to get what I want, no matter how important something was to ME, but that is part of where my loyalty comes through & that is an important part of my mentoring ways & alas, my character. I am not perfect nor proclaim to be...I definitely seek out friends & relatives that fulfill that which I lack, and this is, i am sure, God's way of FULFILLING me as a person...it is ALL Him & it is to Christ Jesus I must thank for bringing the many people who love ME into my life & into the lives of those I care & love so much... oO(yes, I feel much better now) ;)
Before I began deleting...they were, for the most part, my husbands family & school friends (his mostly but mine from a rival school my mother moved me to for 8th & 9th grade which scarred me to death...not blaming HER...just stating FACT lol Thats a blog for another time Red&Black QuackQuackQuack)... school friends, as well as for a group of ppl I met in chat 13yrs ago but have since, removed all from 'groups' (for the most part...)
Its nice that I can post something TOTALLY personal to my family & nobody else can see it...but, alas, it makes me feel weird so I do not do it very often, it reminds me of whispering in a room full of people when its quiet...rude LOL
If I begin acquiring ppl I do NOT friend I will be TICKED-this IS beginning to happen, so be mindful. Certain privacy settings are missing perimeters that are allowing requests to auto-approve in FB's system. This IS allowing ppl 'onto' your friends list. It has not been addressed but many are commenting in various forums Ive noticed. I would just keep an eye on your 'number' of friends... (This is dated Jan 13, 2011 so take note of that!)
Profile- I am on total lock-down except for various photo albums...and maybe profile pictures. I always wonder if someone will come 'looking' for me & not recognize *me* by my Yorkie's tail, a iced-cookie photo, my grandbabies smiling faces or, Lord forbid, clip-art I found amusing...haaaa can't miss that big mouth photo I am sporting at the moment though...oh yeah, those who KNOW me, KNOW me ;)
Oh, btw...this isn't some social networking site to me...to some it is like a game of life... I moved away from my hometown in 97 from NE Ohio to NE Texas...my children & I had already created online relationships through a MLB Yahoo! chat as well when we moved, with family members we moved away from...their dad, my mom, various friends & other family members...this is RW, 'Real Deal' for me & many of mine- those who take it with a grain of salt are blessed to have full Real World lives, I am blessed but in different ways... I consider those I have met through the internet to be GRAND blessing in my life & can not imagine my life, nor their influence in it...
Ive moved around & the internet has been a Godsend...meeting up with people who take it for granite or do not have the compassion for those of us who DO rely on it like others rely on their mom living down the street or their soap-opera addictions, TV junkies, bowling, golf, darning socks hobbies or whatnot is disheartening...and they eventually play that card...this HAS occurred with school friends & particular ppl who utilize FB in a simpleminded fashion- much to my sadness over the ordeal butttt, it has worked out 'to find out now rather than later' kind of ordeal. I have acknowledged it as God cleaning up my friends list & it softens the blow of realizing that *I* was the friend anyhow...and, Adios to them! This is not ALWAYS the result of my thoughts in 'loosing' people but it's usually that thought process & this social aspect not being utilized as ::real:: & of course, *I* am the one who puts 'too much emphasis' on the 'game' site...it is not a game- this is LIFE AS WE KNOW IT...and I just have been playing by the rules of this part of life longer than the majority of others...just sayin'...
Nobody should have to be so mindful as to what they say with people who ARE immediate friends on FB...it's harmful & trust must be obtained, it's only fair to trust your instincts so far...although I would say all the way, most ppl prefer to trust their head...our instincts seem to be biased at times ;)
And by the way, I am a FIRM believer that if you do not want someone to know what you are up to, the best bet is DO NOT DO IT then...and that my friends, is how LIFE should be, no matter WHAT game in you may be 'playing' :))
My blog is at http://mymichelet.blogspot.com/
Eventually, there will be a book...follow early to get a front seat LOL
Thanks for playin' :)
www.Facebook.com/MyMichelet
aHem...if you aren't my 'friend'...you aren't gettin' in...just sayin...
I know...right? ;)
